Wedding venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.
Dear Alison
I’ve just found out I am pregnant and that I will now be 7 months along when I walk down the aisle.
Firstly, I am of course overjoyed that my partner and I will be welcoming a baby. It was a surprise but a very, very nice one.
However, the timing is less than perfect. We’ve had our wedding venue booked for two years. I’ve already got my dress ordered. Plus, we’ve dry-hired a wedding venue and I can’t imagine myself wanting to get involved in the set up while heavily pregnant.
Don’t even get me started on our already-booked and paid for safari honeymoon.
I never wanted to be pregnant on my wedding day. I wanted to get a bit drunk with my mates, wear a very sleek dress, and be able to jump around on the dance floor busting moves that would be wholly impractical with a big bump.
What I suppose I’m asking is, will my wedding day be ruined for being pregnant? Should I move our date? How can I sort the problem with my dress if we do keep this date? What sort of things should I consider?
All the best,
Julie
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
Emailplatform@metro.co.ukto share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
Dear Julie,
Congratulations on the fantastic news of your pregnancy.
There is never a perfect time to plan for a baby, and a surprise pregnancy in the build-up to your wedding helps create extra joy at this special time.
It is essential to remember that your wedding day is a celebration of love and commitment, and your baby’s forthcoming arrival will undoubtedly make it even more special.
At our venue, we have had several pregnant brides over the years. Some were in the early stages of pregnancy, and some were only a week or two away from having a baby.
The most recent was a bride who, because of COVID-19, had rescheduled her wedding date several times.
When she did get married, she was nine days away from giving birth.
Being heavily pregnant prevented her from drinking and over-exerting herself, but having the couple’s closest friends and family added to the excitement of the wedding day. She wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
However, I understand why this unexpected news might raise concerns for you around timing –particularly with regard to how it might alter the perfect wedding you’ve been planning for two years –and there are steps you can take to alleviate these worries.
Firstly, sit down with your fiancé and discuss what you feel is important for the two of you.
Are both of you happy to continue with the wedding as planned?
You must support your individual needs and desires for your wedding day.
It would help to consider the pros and cons of carrying on with the planned wedding or postponing it.
You both need to reflect on how your life will change once the baby arrives and any spare time you have will disappear, so one ‘con’ of postponing is that trying to reschedule may be challenging.
Another ‘con’ is the potential additional financial costs of changing your date. You may lose deposits and have to pay them afresh when rebooking.
Did you get married while pregnant? Have your say in the comments belowComment Now
If you want to go ahead as planned, consider the adjustments you will have to make. While not necessarily a ‘con’, you will need even more help from your family and friends.
Ask them for more assistance with setting up your venue and breaking down after the wedding.
It is important to delegate tasks and share responsibilities to allow you to relax and enjoy the day without causing you additional stress.
Of course, there are other considerations if you choose to continue.
Contact your dress shop and let them know the situation, and see if any alterations can be made to ensure your dress fits comfortably, or if you will have to find an alternative.
When you booked your honeymoon, did you take out travel insurance?
You may still be able to travel if you have no complications throughout your pregnancy –though your medical practitioner can help guide you on what is best for you.
A honeymoon will be the perfect way to spend quality time with your partner before life changes forever – but, depending on your experience of pregnancy, you may need to consider modifying your honeymoon plans and alternative destinations or activities that align with your health.
Ultimately, if you decide to postpone your wedding, you have to consider: Once the baby arrives, will you ever get the time to reschedule and plan again?
Life is short; sometimes, the unexpected can bring so much joy and excitement. You must take these moments and decide what is best for you both.
Remember, your wedding day is about the love and commitment between you and your partner. Being pregnant could only add to the joyous occasion.
Embrace the changes, make adjustments where needed, and –if you decide to go ahead with your original wedding plans – celebrate the unique circ*mstances that make your special day memorable.
I wish you all the best on your journey to both marriage and parenthood!
Best wishes,
Alison
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
Share your views in the comments below.
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